Brussels sprouts blues

I wrote this song in November 1988. It is similar to one or two other of my songs that take the piss out of the lyrics of rock 'n roll or rhythm 'n blues love/sex songs. It is actually a thoroughly revolting song but, surprisingly, one often requested at live pub gigs, especially later on in the evening. I'll start by giving you a sample of the lyrics (the typically repeated lines are marked as x2):
I gave my baby a well-cooked Brussels sprout (x2)
She said I don't want parsnip, I don't want carrot or swede
And if you give me cabbage, I'm sure gonna make you bleed
I gave my baby... (x2)
The song goes on to describe the couple masticating, kissing, and caressing in and around the said Brussels sprout. Here's the fifth verse (and by this time, things are getting quite obscene):
Well the smell of greens hung on my baby's breath (x2)
As I put my tongue insdie my baby's mouth
And I felt the texture of that Brussels sprout...
Have to confess that I do have a thing about Brussels sprouts and once made some Brussels sprout chocolates. It's quite easy to do that if you know how to melt dark chocolate for cooking purposes; you simply dip a lightly boiled (and then chilled) sprout into the chocolate and let it cool in the normal way as if you were making any other chocolate. Some of my friends have actually spat them out when I offered them one to try! Honestly, some people are so set in their ways.

Before I leave this topic, John W Trinkaus's research into Brussels sprouts is listed on the Ig Nobel Prize site ( and some of you will want to check that out, I know.
Finally, I feel that I ought to apologise to all the people who have heard me play this live because I really am a crap blues player. Still, people do keep asking for it :-)

ISRC = GBGHU0300004

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